Sunday 25/02:

First individual effort at Chinese Cuisine! Alright, as much as I used to complain about my mom's poor cooking, but I'm really missing them. Kinda ironic isn't it? I'll improve my cooking more and cook for her to show her the standard and probably thank her for all the meals she have whipped out.

Saturday 24/02:

A lot of things to say, especially today, and also from the previous days where I just had my first go on the simulators. But time is short (going to try my luck with the guys soon), so I'll just touch on this thought I had after today's Squadron Chinese New Year gathering at boss's house.

You know, I thought about marriage. Yes even though I said to many that this issue is currently not in my plans for the future, but it struck me like an arrow from Orion (learnt about Orion's Belt from a friend just tonight).

How nice it would be, to be with the one for you, sharing a life together, kids, stuff like that? I guess that's how many could forego their plans to fulfill any dreams they once had, able to put it down just like that.

Haha if you're wondering why all this suddenly came into my mind, its probably because of this cute little boy, Nicholas, a son of one of my instructors. I don't if its just me or something, but I think kids always somehow find their way to me, even though I don't really fancy them.

Anyway back to this 3 year old Nicholas, he started to tell me about things that were out of place, like telling me to moving a pair of scandles from inside the house to outside (so we won't dirty boss's place), stuffs like that. He also asked me to lift him up so he could touch the 'firecracker' decoration hanging from the ceiling.

Not only could he converse with me well, in both Chinese and English, but I feel he's really brave and independent. Practically running around the place, talking to strangers (like me) and just being himself. Ever remember of the days where we could just do things we want and not have to worry what others think of it and the consequences leading to it?

At the end of it, he brought a smile to me, and this train of thought: If I will to make it and someday given the chance to come back here as an instructor, I will agree without hesitation. Haha now it whether I would be married by then, probably bring the whole family over and raise our kids in a much better environment than Singapore.

On the way back, the roads were totally street-lamp-less. Looking towards the sky really reminded me of the some jewellery advertisement with a couple in a covert car, and the lady wearing a ring and comparing it to stars. Fly me to the moon~

Home, when will I see it?

Wednesday 21/02:

Music soothes my soul.

I rediscovered this magic at the funniest of times. On my way back on the car with some of my guys, weather was freaking hot (summer), as I wind the window down, a familar tune started playing over the car stereo. And there was it, my mood instantly lifted up, from cursing and swearing of the blasted heat to cool blue chill.

Well because of that, I spent the rest of the evening and night running through my army of songs, singing, humming, whistling, la-ing, etc.

Its Magic!

One thing that ain't affecting me is that I've not yet started anything sort of flying yet despite some of my friends having theirs already. More duties as a result of that too. Bring it on!

Kinda sad not being able to go for the upcoming concert, a lot of my friends will be there too. Not to mention miss playing my trumpet. I'll still be there psychologically, and I'll have the recordings too, so play well alright or I'll think you all can't play well because I ain't there! =p

I still have your picture on my desktop, i put it up as wallpaper sometimes, i look at you then and look at you now, i've seen how much you have changed. Looking back, I regret at the friendship we lost after that incident.

Fate brought us together, since sec sch till jc. From band exchanges, to srjc's adminstration office to tpjc's band audition. Pure conincidence? You decide for yourself...

I guess you are being who you want to and always had been. Only now I see the amount of influence we had on each other. Like being each other's sheath of our sword (I still have your samurai sword letter opener you gave me).

Let's keep our promise and continue working towards our dreams and goals in life. I sincerely thank you for appearing in my life, teaching a lot of things to me, advicing me the one area that I've never been good in.

Tuesday 20/02:

Ops A duty was fierce, full taxing four hours at a go, changing programs, calling, informing, blah blah, blah blah blah...

First day back to work after the longest holiday ever since we came, just the usual stuff, nothing much.

I'm so free now that I can't be bothered with studying up for anything!

No Flying = Zero Preparation Needed

Zero Prep = No Studying!

Heh! =p

Did a lot of adminstration stuff today, pleased. Talked to a lot of my friends on msn today, seems like they're having more stress than me now, only for this moment (wait till my name appears on the planning board which means I'll begin my flying).

Zen~

Monday 19/02:

Okie, feeling quite crappy now. My dad just called me from Malaysia, and so happened they just finished dinner, 10 course with the tossing dish (I forgot its name).

Guess what I was doing? Whipping out some other dishes to go along with my instant noodles, okie that really sucks big time.

Oh well on the brighter note, at least I'm practicing my cooking which I've been neglecting. Used to be able to do some western cooking and stuff, but now I have 9 more full months (if all things goes well) to learn from my master chef Joel, all the simple oriental home cook dishes!

No computer games for today, along with gambling. Managed to have some nice quiet quality time to read my two books I bought. As usual one on how to gain more income and the other about life. Really interesting, especially on the Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Really works.

Take for example how much I have been saying about all those things I'm missing out (oh forgot to mention our the phone I could hear fireworks going off) for Cny, or for most people having no idea what they want in life just going with the flow of what the Singapoe government wants from them, stuff like that.

Then I look at myself, I have everything ahead of me, pursuing my dreams, loving and caring family, comfortable standard of living, basic necessitites much that I don't lack (but would love to have more =p), friends I can rely on for times in need (you know yourself, don't need to say names right?), stuffs like that. I should feel lucky! Isn't it?

I really miss all my distant relatives in Malaysia, sigh. Thanks for the email, really touched. =p

Sunday 18/02:

PERTH DAY!!

Totally awesome talk my breath away. Oh my goodness, I feel so like a frog in a well, having stayed in Singapore to too long. Perth is like a cloud lifter, a morale booster, etc. (You get it right?)

I spent quite a bit today, but HEY no worries! Gladly sponsered by the gambling guys! =p LoL!

Alright sorry no pictures, running on a very tight budget of 1GB per month, so BE GLAD of your UNLIMITED ACCESS back at home okie?

And I mean it!

I simply adore Perth, feels like I'm playing GTA San Andreas. Okie short and snap recap.

Reached there around 9plus, everything still closed (opens only near noon). Ate at some sandwich place in a food court, super nice boss! Walked around, sight seeing (lots of pictures), visited the MINT!

AWESOME! I witnessed how a gold bar is made and had my hands on a A$200,000 goldbar. Haha wish I could just bring it home! Met and Joel & Louis at a cafe, by then the streets were filled with people and life.

Ate at this Asian restaurant, splendid Nasi Bryni and Mutton Soup! OoH I simply adore them! Haha! Bought all the necessities we needed, Ben & I separated from the other two, different needs you see.

Ate dinner at this Chinese restaurant, the fish is GODLIKE! I adore! The tofu was nice too! I adore again! The boss was very nice, came from Malaysia and now a citizen. Chat with him a little after dinner, before we left to do some last minute grocery shop, chilled at a bar before we hopped back to the bus.

Back in the block, nice warm shower and guess what next!

GAMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Got A$174 tonight, more expenses covered for! =p

Everyone please treasure what you have now. I'm pursuing my dreams, enjoying my stay and blah blah blah~

So you all should too! Cny goodies, bak kwa, hongbao, family, relatives, friends (my guys here are colleagues), decorations, festive season, hopefully warm weather (freaking cold here!) Okie, happy cny all...

Appreciate all the love sent from Singapore & Malaysia~

Saturday 17/02:

Went to boss's house to have barbeque, so called celebration for Cny. Oh well, better than nothing. His house was really nice, of course man, what do you expect the CO to be living in? Nice cosy place and a warm family, lucky man.

Anyway, on our way back, we almost got lost trying to find the route back, luckily somehow managed to get back, everyone safe and sound without incident.

And so what's next?

GAMBLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Won A$50 tonight, but that's after losing quite a lot of winnings. For every beginning, there must be an exit strategy. And so that's it for tonight. Tomorrow going to Perth! Alritez! Our first offical bookout! Hope it'll lift up some gloomy clouds!

Friday 16/02:

Woke up in a daze past noon, when Joel just happened to enter and ask me out for lunch. So Louis, him and I went to eat at Josie's Chicken, pretty expensive for just chips and 2 pieces of chicken.

Dinner was fantastic, Joel whipped out extra spicy curry chicken with Hong Kong fried noodles, simply breathtaking. =p

Oh I bought scratch cards, those kind that you just try your luck, maybe can win the grand prize or all the other smaller prizes. I never believed in things like this, just like 4D, ToTo and stuffs like that. I don't why too.

Haha haven't even said whether I won, I didn't. Haha I was so close to winning A$75,000, just one more slot. But I guess the card was made like this to make you wanna scratch more next time? If I could just win like this, wouldn't the company have closed down already, long long ago?

And so I was bored, went to gamble again. Turned out that I won back everything I lost last night, got back what I started initially and an additional A$340. Like WOW. Okiee... That's odd, seriously man.

I wish I could have been there for all the friends... Like for starters literally being there, you know what I mean?

Wednesday 15/02 (Left on the 15/01, like wow):


Not another early in time, this time to shadow the SDO!

Super unlucky, this whole week already arrowed for every extra work possible. Flag & Ration, SDO, Ops A, Stats Board (totally not under my job scope), take photos of instructor, treasury updates and chasing of debts, mess takeover.

-.-"

I'm so freaking bored here, I didn't bring anything useful and out of a/c context to read! My brain is detoriating. If I would to return to university anytime (touch wood), I'll surely die.

Today I lost A$230 at poker. First was drinking, now gambling, next smoking? What the hell am I turning to? And what's with the vulgarities? Lost count. Back to square zero, or is it already in the negatives?

Chinese New Year... Last year I spent it alone at home, this year I'm going spend it in a foreign country. No goodies, no red packets, no family & relatives, no decorations, no house cleaning, no friends that mean alot to me, no nothing.

So much to study, learn & memorise, So little time, morale, motivation and determination. Please put me quickly with my one true love, soar me up the skies where I sorely miss being in and lift my spirits as high as my throttle and old dying engine can take me to.

My friend wrecked one of my treasured birthday gifts I received back in jc2, not only does the person mean so much but also the gift. So painful... Wish I had not entrusted that with him...
Sigh... Hiaz...

Anyway, if I was still NSF, I would already ORD-ed. Damn...

Tuesday 13/02:

5am, crazy timing to wake up. Freezing cold, everything else was smooth I guess.

Raising and lowering the flag, topping up the food rations in the squadron all that nonsense. I totally hate it.

Missed dinner for my duty and COP too, decided to cook something for my chef who is currently flying simulators now.

I'm so lost in my own world now. Supposed to be hitting the books but don't know where to start. Lost all motivation to study up on my systems, not to mention my own checks! Seeing your friends going on ahead with you left behind is so demoralising.

Right now I'm just waiting for my simulators to start so it'll force me to go back to my books.

Hmmm after glancing through, finally realised something... Haha a little too late to find out now isn't edwin? You're one big fool...

Monday 12/02:

Rough start to a blue blue Monday indeed. RSM chased after me for the photos, which I had to search high and low for the various instructors in order to get it done. Not to mention the leave board thingy which I had to do all by myself!

I don't mind doing, but arrowing me when you are not busy is not the way. Its so unfair! Its okiee, white and black bars, no problem.

Once back, I practically slept throughout the evening till next morning, except I did wake up to listen to Joel's OFT pointers and to answer some calls.

Arrowed for Flag & Ration again!! 3 times already, the most times already!! -.-zZz

Sunday 11/02:

DOOM!

Have not been putting in much studying this weekend! Right now all I know I'm missing my favourite steamboat back home!

DARN!

Anyway, lucky for Joel who have been cooking for Raymond and I. If not I'll be eating instant noodles for most of the time. Right now my cupboard is full of it, luckily have not touched them for a while already.

Played soccer again, this time really 131 vs 132, because my course had 1 more extra and I arrived late, played with 131. Till Shawn left, we were 7-1 up, felt a little odd. Joined them later and glad that we at least scored 2 more without conceding anymore, thanks to my defending of course! =p

Have not been exercising, legs kinda sore too.

Slept really well, till noon. Sometimes letting it out helps too, even though I know the time spent on saying it out is not going to help out in the situation itself. Changing for the better or worst?

Saturday 10/02:

Long awaited day of the week. Practically chilled the whole day, never touch any work related things.

Enjoyed some quiet times with fm, fun dota times with seniors, soccer with my guys with some seniors, watched the gamblers battling it out with blackjack and poker, nice soupy dinner by Joel with noodles and ended with a very nice feel-better chat.

I love Saturdays! =p

Friday 09/02:

Orientation night! I'm so glad its finally over, and at least we can put on our course batch on our flight suits now!

Performance was fine, food and drinks good too, but the initiation part was really disgusting! All the sauce anyhow ended inside, with everything else they can find. All this into one super large test tube looking container, its practically rubbish.

And so we took turns to drink it as a course, and at the end another full glass of it to retrieve our course batch so we can so call proudly wear it on. Throughout that glass, drank 2 mouths puke 1 time, and it goes on and on.

Never in my life have I puked so many times. Rephrase: I have puked more times tonight than I've ever did in my whole life.

Anyway also after today means we take over all the mess duties. Drats! So entertain everyone till past midnight where we started cleaning up till pass 1-2am in the morning.

Thursday was a day & night to forget...

Thursday 08/02:

A lot have been done and said today, will update most probably on Saturday. After all that thrashing out and stuff, some private sessions and its already 2am in the morning. Super tired, tonight, friday, will be our orientation night. The seniors will test out course strength, integrity and unity.

Wish us luck.

Wednesday 07/02:

Its for real and truly open now. Simply disappointing. Line has been drawn, weapons ready and hidden, war has begun. Just like what happened in WWII where the Americans dropped their airborne troops the night before D-Day.

Its not like duties, studies and flying requirements already not occupying us fully, we have to deal with such nonsense. Its so childish and nonsensical. I can't believe my course I/c has degraded himself to such a level.

But from a 3rd person point of view, his leadership skills is indeed comparable. Able to influence people in the correct sense, cast away people that he deems not needed and planning is truly of a high level. Just maybe if it was me who was the one, I would have done so in a more quick and swift move. Point for him to improve.

I simply just can't be bothered with whatever 'games' that is going on, also ignoring whatever they are talking about. But my other friends who have been labelled with me, seem to be really affected, also indirectly affecting me.

How? By talking behind closed doors, wasting time on things we can't do anything about, putting ourselves down to their level and bitch about the other side where it could be used to concentrate on our studies. That includes writing this entry.

2 days ago, I mentioned about didn't even mind returning home earlier. Apparently a few of them had already start thinking about it too.

I don't even know where to start now. Just really lost. What should I do? As much as I try to not let it affect me, its so obvious that even a blind/deaf person would be able to feel it. Not to mention when they started to talk bad about us when one of us was in the same room, call it dumb or plain transparent. You decide.

How nice would it be to be in the comfort of home, choose the people who I want to see, eat the things I'm starting to miss, basically just get away from the ugly side of humans' everyday life.

Day by day, celebrating my 21st birthday in Singapore seems like a reality...

Perhaps just return back to the mindset of what my fine goverment has preset into everyone's mind: Study, go university and get a degree, find an employee job, pay taxes, find a wive, have a family, be in debt, pay more taxes, forget about dreams we had in our childhood, retire, survive on a insufficient cpf account, go back to work again till the day we rest in peace.

Really depressed...

Tuesday 06/02:

(Part 1)

Already 1plus into the morning, shivering as the cold winds from the south west coast of perth transits by, my mind at work again.

Slept for 3hours straight after the previous entry and begun studying after that. Benjamin dropped by my bunk, very gentlemen and nice of him. Apparently after all that has happened yesterday, I guess he somehow noticed I went awwfully quiet.

He and I somehow share the same views and thoughts, similar style of thinking and character too, as reflected by the psychologist test. Never did I notice the always cold Benjamin had a soft side. Everyday I discover something new, =p.

Anyway, its just not me in that little boat of mine, apparently a few of my guys came and talked to me about it, and also felt similar to me. Just that, I didn't react to it one bit, neither did I talk about it.

Did all I could as a friend, fellow course mate, convincing them by telling white lies, but I have to in order for them to not feel like giving up. Luckily some had their girlfriends to fall on, (my workload decrease) while others just needed a listening ear.

When you realise that you're not alone, things don't look that bad after all. Selfish yes, but at least we are in it together. To support each other in times like this.

But I'm really proud of myself, if I were my old self I would have flared up and probably start a war. And that would really make things much worst, won't it? Instead I took a step back, analysed the situation and held my composure despite all that came my way.

(To this person who asked me a question related to this, doing what I did is one suggestion, don't forget to add creating a solution after analysing the situation.)

Still a little disappointed with the vulgarities that came out during the course of the day, but comparatively lesser than before. Can't change over night, but pleased with my progress.

I'm almost done with OFT2 preparations, really can't wait to start flying, and also hopefully able to fulfill my New Year Resolutions.

I thank my friends especially you for all the support that you all have shown me, sorry I didn't reply because its just me. Give me some time, after a while I'll be fine, I hope...

My family doesn't know any of this, so please let's keep it that way. No point having them worry, they'll make a big 'Hoo Haa' out of it.

As much as I want to talk to you in msn, I guess tonight isn't the right time. Please understand... I'm praying that later in the day, everything will turn out right.

(Part 2)

And so we are finally scheduled for our simulators!

For Wednesday's programme, only 4 out of us 18 will be doing so. How exciting yet anxious times, hoping to quickly get on with flying rather than secondary duties but also delaying as much as possible the one most energy sapping activity.

Tomorrow I'll be making a trip down to Fremantle, Perth to collect shirts and plaques for my guys, exciting at first but ever since the schedule came up, feeling a little jittery about whether my name would appear on the planning board?

Even though I have already planned 2 sorties ahead, but its the pre-flight stress that really deals the blow. I remember of times back in airgrading, where the nights before my next planned flight, always had difficulty trying to sleep.

All my checks, procedures, R/T calls, thinking about how the instructor will be turning you upside down or inside out, the technics of flying, etc running on & on & on & on & on in my mind.

Anyway, I wonder how you are doing... I don't know if your nick is refering to me somehow, but I really hope not. Just want you to know that you have been the one pushing me through times like those of yesterday. I guess you don't realise it and always think otherwise, but now you know... =p

Throttle into overdrive, talk to you when things cool down and able to slacken off a little...

Monday 05/02:

Worst day ever since I came... Words can't simply describe what has happened. Most of the things were directly and indirectly pointing towards me!

First was to protect an interest of my friend, nevermind that. Later it was so personal, I can't believe I'm having the same status with this person whom was once a hooligan. And as if I have done anything wrong, but it seems that he has already acheived what he wanted to from the start.

Why must politics be included in such a thing? We're just all here to become pilots, study, fly and enjoy ourselves. Why make life so difficult for each other?

All I know now is that I want to go home already, even if I were to fail here I won't regret at all, not a single bit. It is not because of my inability to pilot the plane or any flying related matters, but just losing out to all of your backstabbing, cunning and deceptive moves.

If you all were to make it as pilots, I can't imagine what the once clean image of air force would become to.

I miss home... And I miss...

Sunday 04/02:

Can't believe that 3 weekends have just passed like that. Starting tomorrow will be my 4th week here.

Before I go on, to make life easier for me, Mail me @:

To: OCT Edwin Cheng 132BWC

Add:
130 SQN - RSAF FTS
RAAF BASE PEARCE
BULLSBROOK
WESTERN AUSTRALIA 6084

Today passed very quickly, most of the time spent on orientation night preparations and COP in squadron. Lunch at airmen mess with Raymond and Benjamin, had a great talk with them before including Zi Hao in bunk. The rest of the course went out to Bullsbrook to eat at Fu Yin.

As Car Ic, was pleased that my vampire block guys helped out to clean the two cars we owned as a course. To think that I didn't even help wash my dad's car back in Singapore, ha feel kinda bad...

As much as I was blessed with this ability, I can't seem to apply it to other areas, the one thing that has eluded me. Something needs to be done...

I signed up to be a pilot, and not to go through all these ugly political things. Life ain't gonna be easy from here on... What ever happened to the days of flying, studying and chilling together like in airgrading?

Saturday 03/02:

Slept like there was no tomorrow, technically the best day of every week! A few more weeks from now we will no longer be confined and be able to book out and go look around in Perth!

Most of the day used in preparations for the orientation night. Relaxed a little with my guys, playing a few games. I simply love Saturdays.

Oh my sister called me from home too, talked to all of my family, how nice. Seems as though they are missing me more than I do to them.

I'm just glad that we could talk through the night like that, really enjoyed it... Appreciate it... Didn't realise the time at all, hope you won't be so tired tomorrow... =p

Friday 02/02:

Ops duty is really tiring! Running up and down, looking for instructors, seniors and doing whole lot of things. Standing for half the day too makes it worst. Oh well, it has to be done, no choice.

Mess today was yet another drinking session and barbeque. Had a great talk with this Amos, a senior instructor from STD SQN, Elvis and my buddy Chee Wee. Got back to bunk only past midnight, really tiring.

Really glad that I've not start thinking about stupid things or anything, but I'm sure it will come soon... I wonder why...

1.

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{google}

{2.

{christopher}
{grace}
{huili}
{jiale}
{joekoh}
{kailing}
{kelvin}
{mazlinah}
{peiyan}
{peiyun}
{rayze}
{steph}
{zhimei aka feline}

CT4B - AGC [150805-170905] S211 - BWC [150107-251007] EC120 - RWC [121107-261108]

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