Tuesday, November 29, 2005
28/11
I saw a familiar person, and it looked like 'u'...
'u' were in tpjc's pe attire with a baby blue towel at the back...
Jogging away, across the road...
I stared into space...
Should I...
Took me about 5mins of hesitation...
I turned back...
Pedalled hard...
I searched...
And I searched...
First from the church, then to the market...
Subsequently to tm, stadium, interchange, sun plaza park, east view sec, ngee ann sec...
All but to avail...
I even did the craziest thing in the world...
I waited...
And I waited...
10mins, then 20, 40, an hour...
Legs started to ache, couldn't leave to get a drink, helpless to do anything...
But all that could go away, with just a distant look...
I gave up...
Before leaving, I closed my eyes...
From the first time we met, times spent together and how it ended awkardly...
A tear shed for it...
I already once told myself to put it aside...
But the book gave me light and disagreement...
Those two years...
Were like five years of expended energy and emotions...
Kissing A FoolYou are farWhen I could have been your starYou listened to people Who scared you to death And from my heartStrange that you were strong enough To even make a startBut you'll never find Peace of mindTill you listen to your heart PeopleYou can never change the way they feel Better let them do just what they will For they willIf you let them Steal your heart from youPeopleWill always make a lover feel a foolBut you knew I loved youWe could have shown them allWe should have seen love throughFooled me with the tears in your eyes Covered me with kisses and lies So goodbyeBut please don't take my heart You are farI'm never gonna be your star I'll pick up the piecesAnd mend my heartMaybe I'll be strong enoughI don't know where to startBut I'll never find Peace of mindWhile I listen to my heartPeopleYou can never change the way the feel Better let them do just what they will For they willIf you let them Steal your heart from youPeopleWill always make a lover feel a foolBut you knew I loved youWe could have shown them allWe should have seen love throughBut remember this Every other kissThat you'll ever giveLong as we both liveWhen you need the hand of another manOne you really can surrender withI will wait for you Like I always doThere's something thereThat can't compare with any otherYou are farWhen I could have been your starYou listened to peopleWho scared you to death And from my heart Strange that I was wrong enough To think you'd love me too I guess you were kissing a foolYou must have been kissing a fool- Michael Buble
10:14 pm;
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Wednesday:
It rained the whole morning, so there was I, standing at one corner of the school, looking out of the area, seeing the outline of the buildings in the CBD. As it rained harder and the wind blew stronger, I could feel the rain drops falling onto my face and hands, it's almost as if I was being purified.
The outline slowly faded away, until it was gone. The mist that the rain kicked up was really mesmerising. Almost like I've been enchanced by a fairy, with her wand and magic dust.
I had to do the second half of SDO for the day, it was pretty quiet, with most of the people not around. Not much of a problem, got caught in the jam, but for once I didn't complain. I just sat there, looking out of the window and looking into space. Must be the magic dust I guess.
I fell asleep on the bus, got home 40mins later than the usual. A cold and windy night.
Ate dinner with my family at the usual steamboat place, I almost fell down 5times with my those worn out Fila slippers. I guess I should have worn the Teva ones instead.
Dead tired.
Wednesday:
A day of tutorials for me, as I went through several times with professional help all around me. Indeed, I think I just finally got a hang of it already. Lucky.
After work, Alvin, Joel, Zheng Nan, Zihao and I went to wreak some damage in DOTA at KTC. I just went there like on Monday, what a coincidence. The three noobies got kicked so hard in our butts by Alvin and Joel. But I'm glad I managed to kill each one of them once, not bad for a big time noobie right?
Tons of fatigue.
12:43 pm;
Monday, November 21, 2005
A lot have been happening, but it ain't worth writing it down or something. I leave out and note down the ones that mean something, well at least to me.
Wednesday:
Bimbo's Birthday today! LoL. Still full of nonsense, haha, I guess he's one guy who wont' change so easily, not with his SLACK work in the force. Oh did I mention police? Oops. SO what if got arrest warrant card, big deal. 11B can give us FREE meal, somemore three times a day. Now beat that.
Thursday:
Ridzuan was back from Taiwan already and now a 3rd Sgt, Congrats dude! We went for a night of pool at pavilion, played his favourite straight pool, he's changed somehow I guess. With the 7hours of sleep needed and more of a usual person a specialist should be. I'm a little regretful and also glad at the same time I don't have to go through all those crap.
Friday:
A trip back to school, in fear I guess. But come to think of it, why should I be in fear in the first place? Dr Lee was still his cranky self, practice was somewhat boring, and the post practice activities was disappointing. At least the effort was there, but it's not enough.
The day ended with Boon Hwee, Chong Hui, Kenneth Lim and I playing two round of pool at parkway. The tables, balls and cues were amazing, and also the price. It can't be compared to pavilion. By the time I turned in, it was already 4am, and I'm thinking of how I'm going to wait up at 9am later to play soccer.
Saturday:
Fumin called me about the soccer, I thought I was going to get a dressing down from him, but it turned out he was home too. LoL. In the end, we didn't go, I was dead tired.
I was shocked to see my sister's favourite car waiting just outside the gate when I returned. Last time when the door is open, she would just treat it as if it was her home. But she was reluctant, I wonder why. She dared not step into the house, not even a paw. I guess she's afraid of my dad.
Sunday:
More furniture into my house, this time for my sisters, two gigantic (extremely heavy) cupboards and a small one (which is also heavy). Became SK warrior, my bed was invaded by my sister's 'special' clothings. Didn't had a decent time and space to watch the rented Drumline we borrowed this morning.
Speaking of which, was out with my sister to 800plus there to eat brunch, buy her stuffs and rent the dvd. Haha, it was crappy though, especially the $30 part. Ridzuan also borrowed my SBO to use it as a reference to get his into action. Poor dude, reporting to Lim Chu Kang for work.
Monday:
Harry Potter was somewhat okie I guess, just that I'm not really into spells and magic. Lord of the Ring suits me better, too bad they only have three episodes, despite the amount of details shown in the books. And no, I ain't going to read them, too thick.
I went to take on the intermediate course a few times today, realised that I perform better under some pressure and stress, especially at the fact of not wanting to lose to a primary school kid. And yes, I lost, sadly. But I'll get better, surely.
After that were intense CS action and first time DOTA with Mr Boon Hwee, Chong Hui, Kenneth Lim and Kiong Wee. Well it was fun I guess, I liked the Need for Speed (Underground), wonder where I could get my hands on them.
Took 12 back with Chong Hui, who alighted without saying bye (I was asleep). By the time I reached home and washed up, I was almost 1am. Dead Beat.
Thanks for the trouble for the tickets.
9:12 am;
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Tuesday - Thursday:
On leave. Nice =p.
Friday:
I went to take my Basic Theory Test, it was supposed to be 50mins long, but I cleared it at an amazing time of 14mins, but there was another guy in vest-slack who already finished his moments ago. Wow.
Saturday:
Had to help my sister record her Dr House, but I thought it was going to be numbers, so I kept on watching, thinking it was not the show to record. When I finally realised it was the one to take down, I already missed the introduction! Darn! Oh I did flipped the channels occasionally too, oOps.
Sunday:
Again to help my sister record her CSI, don't know why the machine can't record. In the end, I only got down less than an hour of the three hour marathon. I didn't know how to let her know, but when she told me she didn't have the time to get my Matrix dvd, it was kind of a eye to eye exchange. Heh heh.
Monday:
The parade was fine, no longer is it me anymore. We played soccer at the court. Well usually I would be writing about how many goals I scored and wasted how many chances, but today is something a little different.
Scoring goals may be good, but providing them is also a skill. I spent most of my time being the last man, with occassional breakthroughs, but it definitely was a good practice in my view.
Ate dinner at the CS's foodcourt with my second sister, saw Jared, the ex-TPJC guitar club president, he's in police, together with bimbo wand and Mr Wei Lun and Tow Boon. I was up at the arcade looking at people driving the wheels off their car, I feel the need to drift recently, I don't know why.
Tuesday:
Today's morning brief was pretty long, realised that most of the problems being brought out concerns the S211, a type of plane which I would flying next year in Pearce. That isn't very nice to know right? Oh well, Mr Chat had a talk with us, and come to think about it, we have so much things to do...
We had volleyball practice cum matches, it was a good time and workout, I should really make use of my time to polish up on my sports, then at least I can look back and be glad for it.
2:19 pm;
Monday, November 07, 2005
I opened up the package, and there was a book, which captured me for the rest of the whole day. I started out to finish the book as fast as I could, neither did I know that I finished it in just under a day. No book had ever been able to capture my attention for that long, and to the extent completing it.
Inspired? I was more of captivated by the story line rather what the book has got to impart to me, but I did got the juice of some parts. I guess I'll look through it again, but not today. Thanks for the book, even though I doubt you'll see this but somehow you'll know it.
After work, hitched a ride with CWO Sim on his car to the airport to send off the 12/05 guys for their AGC in Australia. I still remember that day, I was without my family and relatives there were few who came even though I didn't want them to. This guy, who was like me, so Alvin, Zheng Nan and me accompanied him to eat dinner. I packed mine and rushed home. The 27 bus stop reminded me of...
4:28 pm;
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Saturday:
All day long, I went 'Back to Nature', seeing out the remaining days of Autumn to the transition to Winter. How I longed for Winter, so I could spend all my hard earned money to stock up on the items to its fullest. I'm a Perfectionist. It aches me sometimes. But that's me.
Sunday:
I had to go, I was lost. Finding the restaurant even though I used to work there. Kind of ironic isn't? There they were, laughing among themselves when I came in, a little flustered with being late. I felt a little awkward.
I gave the present and received one. I was caught unprepared. But I really love surprises. But I always spoil them myself, all thanks to my senses. Just like how I learnt about the surprise birthday party at my own house, where I had to play host and entertain, and learnt that I received a book when someone spilled the beans.
I was taken a back to have her treat us, especially observing the amount she paid together with the change received accounted for. Throughout the whole meal, I was a little uptight, but grew into them. One of them was a friend, a very close one, someone I used to call senior and seeked consultation. The other was her sister, her best friend another friend whom are also now my friends.
I enjoyed the time in the restaurant. But a little disappointed with myself. I couldn't be the 'Edwin' everyone always had the impression of, I was still half asleep. Well, as soon as I got home, I slept till it was nine plus in the night. Ate instant noodles for dinner, and watched Chelsea face defeat to a team which totally didn't deserve it. My mom was up many times throughout the night, having difficulty finding sleep these days.
4:33 pm;
Friday, November 04, 2005
Friday:
Just completed and got the Ragnarok, about time, went around doing side quests, left Doom Train to join thy side. Well, I owned Ultima Weapon pretty easily, to my amazement, a few Renzokukens and Quick and Demo Shots and its over.
Duck rice from the chicken rice store again, the noodle store always close so early. Watched a show on Discovery Channel concerning one of our sense, Touch. Pretty interesting at the beginning, where a kid who is both deaf and blind, able to understand what people is talking to him and he can reply them like a normal person. Its a form of technic, didn't get the name down, something like Dotama or Datoma. He puts one hand on the speaker's hand and the other on the left cheek, thumb on the chin, last finger near the throat.
Later part of the show got boring and I practically fell asleep. So I switched off and jumped into bed. Intended to sleep till 7pm, just in time for showtime. Halfway through, I got a phone call from Fumin saying to play soccer afterwards. I was really like subconsciously awake, so I just said yeah yeah whatever. Fell back to sleep straight after the call ended.
Woke up to watch the show, then realised about the call, thought I was dreaming. But it was for real. So I walked to the meeting place, only finding out that my handphone was left at home. Luckily I met Fumin by chance, we were just sitting on the bench beside a basketball court watching this guy trying to dunk or something and a group of secondary school girls playing. They remind of the times I used to play with the girls back in JC, haha.
The game was good, scoring first from a mistake from Cheng Wei. The rest was just wasted chance after chance. It was a good workout, ever since, the trip to Australia I think. Everyone of the players there were good, so was Fumin. We crossed swords a few times, one almost fatal as the ball I cheekily chipped over him was goal bound until it got the post. Darn! Most of the time we were hitting the posts so we were kinda laughing over it.
Full time came when the lights went out just after I hit a pass to the 'Barcelona' guy. Fumin and I went to central's macdonald to grab dinner. As I bought the meal, the girl gave me a scratch-and-win card so I asked her cheekily whether there's a possibility of winning. She nodded and smiled to me, I was kinda skeptical about it.
So I won a small fries, was laughing hysterically. Wanted to thank her but didn't get the chance, there were too many people around the counter. Met Samantha (Mrs DAO - Call her name also never hear) and Michelle (She's the best - Noticed us after I called her name) who had just finished studying. Both of us were like talking about how noisy the place was and it was quite hard to really get some work into your head.
Well, they still look and are the same, especially Mrs DAO. Sujin was also around, he's so stressed out. Just by looking at him, I would be pressured to go hit the books straight away, but I'm don't have an exam to tackle you know. Poor guy, all he needs is just some confidence.
11:26 pm;
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Friday:
Peaceful day, until the phone call came, and the surprising sms from an unlikely person too!
On my way to lunch, met my dad downstairs who was on his way up to put some of my sister's stuff, so I just took it off from him. What a coincidence! Tried the new
'Bak Ku Teh', wasn't that nice though, for its price.
All was good till my dad again called me, telling me that my distant relatives were already on their way from Malaysia. I thought him recently how to sms, so I was surprised to see his name appear on my inbox. His first ever sms to me:
"Clean fan. Floor."
(Later in the night he was complaining to me that it took him so name to just type those few words!)
My sisters used the car so my dad was going to pick his mom up with his lorry. Dots. I don't believe it! As the law states, only two is allowed in the front seats so guess who was at the back of the lorry. My dad, mom or me? The journey was very far too, at this hotel across SCGS. Singapore roads are pretty smooth, especially the highways, except that flyover beside the Police Academy. It gave me some back pain to remember it.
Thai food for dinner with my uncle and aunt, found out my uncle's parents-in-law are in town too! What a BIG conincidence. My room got sacrificed to accomodate them, so I became a wanderer yet again.
Saturday:
Just like every other Saturday, just that this time the ones who woke me up was my cousins. They wanted me to bring them out and stuff. I was a little tired from the week and last night so was a little reluctant. We ended out watching Naruto, right from the start.
My sister brought them out to Sim Lim Square for a walk, while she got her ear-piece fixed. I was more intent to staying home, trying to get back some lost sleep. To think that my mom was forcing me to go, and they call me the host.
I woke up later to go with my parents to my mom's workplace. We got this second hand L-shaped sofa, a big and small cupboard, a super thick (it's insanely heavy!) glass table, and a super thick carpet for a total of $350. It was damn worth it, especially the sofa, where Ikea sells them for thousands. Oh, these furniture came from Ikea.
Next up was carrying, ludging and stuff. Only to remember that my aunt's parents (all the way from China) were already waiting for us to have dinner. It was kind of embarassing and stuff, having them to wait and help out too. As usual, I sat at the back of the lorry, and was all sweaty and smelly thoughout.
Sunday:
Woke up to an empty house, I guessed they must have gone breakfast with my parents and my sisters were out as usual. I was still tired, hands hurting after the incident with the squashing by the furniture.
But the 'new' furniture was a big welcome! It totally replaced the old ones, which were present ever since we shifted in and also since I came into this sad world. It was high time I guess.
Monday:
We left home to central after waiting for my mom's mom to come so that my dad's mom won't be left home alone. If not my dad would have skinned me. We watched Domino at TM, after some trouble getting the tickets with one of my cousin still under 18. It was pretty okie, reminded me of a once rebellant friend of mine. They were some what similar.
We also shared a meal of BK, walked around the place I could walk blind-foldedly, looking around some of the cd shops and Toy-r-us. I remembered I was there a few time when I was still wearing the green uniform I always thought that it was somewhat, not suitable for me.
They had dinner with my other relatives, I skipped it, but promised them a game of pool after they return. I had dinner with Miran and my elder sister downstairs, we were disappointed at the fact that they don't whip out Steamboats. Just the usual dishes, where we met our Dad and Mom subsequently.
Change of plans to mahjong marathon, so I had to choice to postpone the promise of pool. My mom only told me that she invited my the other two cousins, Diana and Edmund for a game of tiles. So I was like the missing link to the "san que yi", it wasn't my fault! I felt guilty throughout that night. But I did teach my cousin how to play, she learnt so fast that she won the first few games (I was by her side) and later even took over my mom's seat.
We ended around 1plus in the morning. Walked them down to the nearby 7-11 where we shopped a little before seeing them off. I had some time with Kim at the playground, talking about good memories and seeing 'mittens' ('my' cat) and patting her.
Shared chips and drinks and marathon-ed on Naruto, I felt asleep many times and she woke me up on every ocassion, telling me to watch with her. The night ended out on a low, it won't be mentioned.
Tuesday:
My dad brought them out and stuffs, so after dinner I brought them to play pool as promised. I thought of a good way to involve three players instead of the usual two, it was more fun I guess. Some dare bets and stuff, we racked till the lights went out on the place, closing time. I was even more tired then.
Wednesday:
We had a little meeting around the coffee table and decided to watch Goal! It was a very heart warming show, inspires one to take up soccer as a professional career but I'm pretty sure I don't have what it have to make it. Not every thing is possible, unless with sheer determination and hardwork?
They wanted to play some lan so it was about an hour or plus of picking up weapons and spraying each other down to the last man. Fook wanted to play pool again so we just dropped by the usual place again.
The dinner for Dr Lee's belated birthday was tonight so I had to rush about, frantically. Saw many of my 'old' friends, got 'suaned' by Dr Lee and even got paired up with Limin as a couple. Well what's new, but those days in the bandroom were the days. The times where he would pick on VS guys and stuff, and I would hide behind backs and stands, while the people around me would point fingers, giving me some back strain as if something had been stabbed in it.
$31 for the buffet, ouch! I did some shopping for his present with Limin and spent some time with the others. The 'A's blues are coming. I can only pray and hope for those few. That's all. The others just need some confidence and luck. But you don't need any, but I would lend you my luck if you asked, just like when you did for my 'A's and I did for your promos. A way of thanks I guess.
More pool action with Boon Hwee and Jocelyn, to be frank I was shocked when they told me that. I lost every game to him, so did Jocelyn. But she had improved a lot, ever since the times where some of the guys were teaching the girls how to play. We walked her home, walking like zigzags along the main road, not cutting through any housing estates. I wondered why. He got his cab home, she got her lift up and I got my legs to carry on the walk home.
Even more tired, but I couldn't sleep.
(Those promises you made mean nothing to me, just remember the ones who made you who you are. Thank them or repay them in whatever way deem correct. I was disappointed to not seeing you there, and you still had to question me in that manner. Do you want me to make you feel worst, not that you already are?)
Thurday:
After last night, felt better. Relatives going back to Malaysia today. Were out till about time to leave, with all their luggages and stuff. Grandma was supposingly worried about being late for the bus,with my mom taking her time to return from central. So she was like saying and saying and saying which pissed my sister off and she comes over and says it to me.
Parents sent them off. Later, my mom's mom together wif my uncle and aunt came over and had dinner wif my parents. I had enough of family reunions and stuff so I gave it a miss. Ate kfc with my second sister, and she had to 'request' changing of channel as I was on 23 with champion league match. Nothing's changed.
My elder sister was very bored and 'took' the tv from me, then later askin me to give her work, mentioning the new cupboard. So she pushed it almost singlehandedly by herself, and also carried my pillows to my room. She must be so bored to do all that. Took some time to reset my room and sort things out. But somehow it's in a mess again.
Smsed Jocelyn quite a bit, lost out on e last place, well thought she said sch's over but she had to go tomrrow. We'll find out what's the reason the next day then. She never ceases to surprise me.
4:01 pm;